He is not always the problem.

I really want to know the answer to this question: Why do men create complicated webs of lies around the women they claim to love, continue to hold on to those they left behind, and refuse to admit when they are wrong? I know these are questions that have stumped women for ages, but come on now. We are in the 21st century, and I'm sure someone has figured out the answers by now.



I know of a few men who act just like this. Now, as women, we have what we call "female intuition." We essentially know when our men are lying to us, or possibly cheating behind our backs, yet many of us do nothing to confront what we know in our hearts to be true. We do whatever we can to ignore the signs and feelings. And even when we do decide to finally confront our suspicions, come face to face with the truth, and try to hold the men accountable, somehow they find ways to manipulate and wiggle their way right back into our good graces. WHAT IS WRONG  WITH US WOMEN? 

Now I am no stranger to this type of situation. I've been through it myself. But I had to learn the hard way. A man is nothing but a man, a woman can't change him. He has to want to improve himself. When he reveals parts of his character through his words and deeds, we women must pay close attention. I am currently single because I am learning to be more careful and discerning in my selections for potential dates. The other day, as I was having a deep conversation with a good friend, I told her that the signs are your truth. They reveal everything you need to know about a man's measure of honesty and integrity, respect and responsibility. Our minds and our bodies don't lie to us. We lie to ourselves about what we actually see, know and feel, and that is where the problem lies.

There are so many decent men out there that are deserving of a woman's love and attention, but we must give them time and opportunity to demonstrate their worthiness to us. A decent man will have no problem doing just that, taking his time to get to know you, your family, and the things that are important to YOU. He won't brush you off, lie to you, manipulate you to get what he wants, or discount your ideas and dismiss your questions. So, I've come to realize that the problem lies with us women, in that we are the ones settling for less than God's best for us. There is no need to just accept the first man that comes across our paths whom we KNOW is not the right one for us, just because we've been single for so long. Let's use our single time to really take care of our business, get ourselves in order--mind, body, and soul--and get involved with helping others. The more we show ourselves worthy of only the best, the more men will be forced to present us with their best.

Good luck to those who KNOW they are in a dead, dishonest relationship . I pray they can find it within themselves to love themselves enough to find a way out, and take time to learn what real love is all about.